What You’re Giving Up to be Trump’s Running Mate
Hi hello hi, please have some political satire. I’d love if you subscribed to premium, but if not, this will be public in a few weeks xo
Ginny
What You’re Giving Up to be Trump’s Running Mate
Running mate selection is right around the corner, and sure, it’s a plush gig. The chance to have your name decorate thousands of Staten Island front yards? But before you accept, consider what you might be giving up:
An organ or three, if Trump is in need.
Also, blood. Start those iron supplements now.
Naming rights to your next pet. Donald Trump: The Turtle. (Note: Kristi Noem gets an exception, as even Trump knows what happens to her pets
).
Naming rights to your memoir. Donald Trump: the Life & Times of Tim Scott
The right to not laugh loudly every time Trump calls you “Little Marco,” even though you know—in your heart of hearts—that 5’9” is basically average.
All future earnings. Legal fees don’t pay themselves! This means if you currently pride yourself on being the richest man in North Dakota, you might need a new moniker.
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