The Dam is Breaking
Just collapsing
The dam is breaking. His own Chief of Staff was willing to speak out against him. Well, she might not have realized that’s what she was doing. But nonetheless. The dam is not in good shape.
The dam is collapsing. Four House Republicans bucked their party to force a vote on Obamacare subsidies. Will this make a difference? Probably not, except to the beavers.
The dam is fracturing. Republicans are responding “no comment” to his Truth Social about Rob Reiner. And you know they have a comment. That’s why people go into politics. An abundance of comments. A true excess.
The dam is shattering. He didn’t seem to realize how much people cared about the Epstein files. Which is wild. All that time online, and he never thought to scroll?
The dam is crumbling. Rand Paul is not okay with the strikes on Venezuelan boats. Or anything else. Rand Paul is just not okay. Neither is the damn.
The dam is taking it on the chin. His poll numbers are cratering. Among everyone. Even the people who think there are microchips in the mayonnaise. Especially the people who think there are microchips in the mayonnaise.
The dam is corroding. Marjorie Taylor Greene is leaving the House entirely. She was once his most loyal foot soldier. Now, she’s probably going to host a podcast. It’s that serious.
The dam is disintegrating before our very eyes. A Fox News host suggested we “pump the breaks.” It was completely unrelated to his administration, but still. TBH, it was about electric vehicles. But. Still.
The dam has slumped over like a college sophomore on New Year’s Eve. Ted Cruz appears to be hedging. And this is the same Ted Cruz who would defend the President even if he called his wife ugly. Which he has done.
The dam is decomposing. Karoline Leavitt just updated her LinkedIn. Well, she updated the picture. With the one from Vanity Fair. No one knows why she would do that, not even the photographer. But she did.
The dam is underwater. Which is normal for dams, but still. But. Still.
The dam is fainting. If the 2024 election were held today, Kamala Harris would need to write a sequel to her book entitled “JK.”
The dam is in the tank. You wouldn’t believe how many Republicans now are saying they don’t even identify as “MAGA.” They are wrong, since “MAGA” and “Republican” have been trending towards synonyms for years, officially collapsing into one on the day Dick Cheney died. But they’re saying it.
The dam has totally conked out. At this point, even Kash Patel is calling for Kash Patel’s resignation. This makes sense; he just wants to fit in.
The dam is literally hemorrhaging. JD Vance got his 2028 poll numbers in a hypothetical match-up against Gavin Newsom, and he’s been sobbing into a pillow for the past 45 minutes. Shit. That’s a broken damn. And a wet, wet couch.
The dam has flatlined. Bummer, it’s only ten years too late.