Problems I Wouldn’t Have if I Lived in The Country
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Problems I Wouldn’t Have if I Lived in The Country
The city is destroying my mental health. I mean, the noise, the lights, the cost, the crowds, Eric Adams. I’m not even angry about the rat problem anymore; at this point, I think they should take things over and free the humans from this anxiety-inducing mess. What I really need is to live in The Country. That would solve all my problems, including the following:
Processed food cravings: The bagel place on my corner is ruining my life. The problem is, I’m gluten-intolerant, and it’s on my corner. To get away from it, I must relocate to The Country, where I can forage for nuts and berries as humans were meant to do, before cities gave us all GI problems.
Insomnia: The only reason I can’t sleep is because of the noise outside!!! For example, I fell asleep watching Netflix last night, and I woke up at 2 am because Netflix was still on. I must take to The Country.
Financial stress: Things are just cheaper in The Country. Like Rhinebeck, Hudson, Kingston – those Country places are just so affordable. I mean, how expensive can a house without an elevator be? Besides, I’d save money on a gym membership by getting all my cardio from building dams and planting trees.
Bad air quality: Country air is perfect, I think. Well, idk. I’ve never been. But I have seen the Sex and the City episode when Carrie goes to Aiden’s country house. In fact, I’ve seen it twice. And there were no smoke-related issues, so…
ATM fees: If I lived in The Country, I could just store my money in cash under my bed. Things are just safer there.
